whats the name of the jew you used to have sex with that lives on evergreen?
be more specific...?
"Monday" is guna come over...
but its Thursday?
yeah, but she cant make it.Monday can...so there ya go
Maybe I lied like you did about your herpes.
I checked into jail on foursquare
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you looked up at me mid puke with tears in your eyes and asked to make sure no one took your turn at Wii
I've hooked up with 3 different guys already this week...don't tell me I haven't been a productive member of society
she blew me in the men's room in the restaurant. it was a french bistro, so it was okay
Idk. I woke up marinating in beer on my beanbag. Idk what you mightve done.
no, throwing your underwear at it is not the solution to everything
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I found your dog. Now we are bros, so he is staying. Don't call, don't make it weird.
It's like sleep walking but with blowjobs
All I want for Christmas is my co-worker's speakerphone to be thrown against a brick wall, and the remains burned in a backyard fire while I roast a hot dog over it. Is that so much to ask?
So, anyways, aside from wanting to seduce my roommate for booze, how's everything been
Bill says he deeply regrets the incident with the soda bottle
She passed out in my baby sister's room so we put her in one of my grandma's diapers, put a pacifier in her mouth, put her in my sister's crib and took pictures.
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