I just hatefucked a Bush administration appointee. Now having celebratory mimosas.
ISS teacher has a tramp stamp.
Shotgun.
just heard someone say they saw a guy puke while riding a bike across campus without stopping
He's married, a coworker, and a smoker. not sure which personal rule broken i'm most ashamed of...
Im about to shotgun a beer using my mother's knitting needles. home sweet home.
I have got to stop getting laid on my lunch breaks. I AM SO HUNGRY RIGHT NOW.
I think I may be stoned foreverrrrrrrrr. The earth has been around for a long time.
At this point the smell of shame has become my natural musk
You slid down the bannister into a split. Lines were crossed.
How's my date look?
Like a retarded elf
In a good way
Maybe she'll change her mind but the "go fuck yourself" doesn't seem promising
Do you ever get a cramp in like, ONE labia?
Tis the season to play Pocahontas! (AKA: Eat a bunch of acid and run around the yard barefoot, the first person to see the colors of the wind, wins!)
I'm a lady. Ladies do NOT hump the floor.
Even after hearing me fuck his friend twice in one night, he still follows me around like a puppy.
Randomize
