my grand plan for the evening is to do shots of vodka til i cant anymore
had to check his id this morning to remember his name.... i was wayy off
He tried. I said no. He said, "It's ok if I do this?" and proceeded to jerk himself off. Oh, the French.
he just found out the funeral is this morning so i'm wearing last night's clothes and look like a total slut.
I don't know what you drank last night but you really enjoyed the 4 egg body shots.
please stop yelling "ITS NARNIAAAAAAAAA" out of our window at the lone person walking home in the snow
Just headbutted a photographer. This convention just got really interesting.
How does one chug a beer and swing the bottle at someone in a single motion? This guys a beer ninja man
there's still three solo cups of your puke in my basement. so that needs to be solved at some point.
Whiskey and an unstable home life is apparently the fountain that 20-something boys like to drink from.
He was running late for work this morning, so I helped him out by finding a matching pair of black socks. And I hated it. So I'm currently drinking and reminding myself of the reasons I will never get married.
Oh were you the stripper at that club last Sunday when i was trippin on acid wearing a giraffe outfit?
I finally broke my dry spell. I did it. D-do-da-Dora.
At least your nickname is not Plunge Slut and that nickname is not in a published thesis work
Had to lock my cat in the bathroom so I could masturbate in peace.
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