Driving with balloons in your car is more annoying than that bubble fart that doesn't leave your ass after your previous fart.
my summer class's final was canceled bc it interfered with the world cup. he is giving us all A's on it. I love europe
I had to do a class evaluation today & the girl beside me didn't fill in any bubbles she just wrote in huge letters RETIRE across the whole sheet
If I had a penis, I would stick it EVERYWHERE. I don't know what these guys are doing.
Just dont tell him. Tell him you colored your vagina for breast cancer awareness month. He will understand.
The liquor store guy just accused me of buying alcohol of minors due to how many bottles I got. The guy should be used to this from me.
It was his birthday this weekend. I had to carry him 6 blocks, in 3 inch heels. The entire time he was trying to molest me, eat my face, and try to stop every two feet to tie his shoe. He would light a cigarette, forget about it, almost burn everyone, throw it out, then decide he wanted to smoke. He kept repeating that he trusts me with his life.
...Wow...
I could be a kindergarten teacher
OMG THE KID WHO TRIED TO MAKE OUT AT THE BAR WITH ME IS SITTIG NEXT TO ME IN THE AIRPORT. WHY LIFE WHY???
Some lady just walked up to me in the bar and proclaimed that I looked like a "shady motherfucker." Can't argue with that one.
....she made me stop for like 3 minutes so she could talk to her cat....
If they were bad they leave that night, if they were good they get a gold star, and if they were great they get invited back. Simple.
FINE. BE CELIBATE AND ACCUMULATE CATS. SEE IF I CARE.
FYI brushing your teeth & taking off your makeup does not erase the shame from the night before
Ok. Yes. He has a tiny penis. But he also has a trust fund.
oh.. my GOD my dad just text me... "i need a naked women" ........... help?
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