those are such fre$h shoes
going to ignore the use of the word "fresh" in a sentence that isnt related to produce and/or other food stuffs and especially the part where you replaced an "s" with a dollar sign
I swear my cock just shook it's head disapprovingly at me.
jacking off on stolen wireless... gotta enjoy the small things in life
I'll be honest, not actually surprised to find half a Big Mac box and bits of broken security glass by the sofa.
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A piece of cheeseburger just fell between my tits. Consider this a "wish you were here" postcard.
Nothing says "I forgive you for puking on me during sex" like a Facebook add the next morning...
czant get you from the arport. sry i found the rum. dan sucks at rumpong jusrt so yo knoqw.
The problem with Wednesday evening drinking is that no gets to my level. It's like like a one man party. But it's a goood party.
She had a cast on when I met her, but she blamed me for breaking her arm this morning. I'm gonna marry this girl.
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I woke up smelling like chlorine with a broke toe. They know how to fucking party on lake lanier.
I feel like I got ass raped in the brain.
Champagne pong turned into an expensive and painful experience.
Trying to figure out if the guy I'm with right now is the same guy I met spring break
Oh duude it is the guy from spring break! Awk.
You drunk? Cause I have a terrible idea...
yeah, my mom got it for me because it had animals AND alcohol.
Can you recommend a quality dick? I haven’t had a good sexing in a while
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