We should be called the Road Head Warriors
Drunk fuck. Had to tell him that the 5 second rule does not apply when your in the bathroom at the hockey game.
what am i going to do when LOST is over? What am i going to get high to?
boyfriend # 1 is in the bathroom and boyfriend # 2 is ringing the doorbell need back up this is not a drill i repeat this is not a drill
The coffee from our coffee maker just hasn't tasted normal since we made Mac n cheese in it that one time....
I just reenacted what a cuntadactyl would act like by putting straws in my mouth as teeth and roaring, Plz come get me.
bringing a ziploc bag full of Jim Beam to the movies may not have been the best idea.
Well I turned her sobriety into my own personal drinking game
We should invent fake asshair for you to wear so you can experience my pain for a day.
With your fertility you would just get contact pregnant
I've justified worse with less. I had sex with your brother because he was wearing a nice sweater
FINE YOU CAN EAT HOT WINGS WHILE WE HAVE SEX
ALSO I MAYBE ACCIDENTALLY HAND CUFFED MYSELF TO A CHAIR
I have an ideal penis or slightly above ideal penis in every country that isn't ruined by the specter of communism
You kept sayin "its alright, I'm pre-med" to everything we said. EVERYTHING.
Randomize
