Your lack of dick hurts my anus. I hate your loverboy tactics.
she's in the bathroom. spitting in the trashcan. not throwing up. just spitting and singing bad romance by lady gaga.
thatta girl
I'm bakin' bread in my pussy!
What?
I have a yeast infection.
yeah, it's no longer just 'day drinking' when it's 5pm and you're knocking over fruit displays at fresh market
he asked me to "shake his dick" when he introduced himself, playing naked football with you in our living room. $100 says you two get married one day.
Random memory from the wedding, the bartender showed us how to open the windows and piss out of them.
Also they do not have any come back to america, i miss my fuck buddy cards at Hallmark.
Haha. Fifty shades ain't got shit on me. My tits look like they got in a fight.
Def just threw up beer then brushed my teeth with some randos toothpaste now back to drinkin beer
Just listened to a full Christian rock song, loved it,listened to the dj send a prayer to a 4th grader who was having a tough year and realized I'm high as fuk
If someone told me one person in the department was secretly a death eater, I would suspect her, no contest.
We stopped mid-sex and both shotgunned a beer then got back to it. Is this what love feels like?
His whole street is under construction. Third walk of shame this week & I'm getting a lot of sympathetic nods from the workers.
If I don't singlehandedly make your gf realize she needs to straighten the fuck up or ruin your relationship before I leave I have failed you as a friend.
She's walking down the sidewalk with a notebook, a pencil, and a box of cheez its while yelling profanities at small animals.... I'm going 2 ask her where she was before this.
Randomize
