my vagina has a 5:00 shadow
Facebook really needs to add a bikini picture profile tab for girls, it would really save me countless amounts of time!
When he came he kept saying "oh god oh god" and he sounded just like his dad. awkward...
I woke up to him eating me out, listening to classical music.
No no no no no. Not interrested. She looks just like Kim's fat booth picture. Only real.
In case you were wondering, it hurts when the bouncer throws your phone at you after kicking you out of the strip club for taking pictures.
I actually want to hang out with her with our clothes on. That's a big step up for me.
There's always time for handjobs
I haven't gotten it in awhile but since spring break is next week I'm willing to have a pregnancy scare if it means no bleeding through the suit
Yeah wouldn't want it to interfere with beach sex. Nothing should interfere with beach sex
I'm pretty sure there a million tiny ninjas in my uterus poking me with sticks.
If you come home and I'm pantsless with cake smeared all over my face, I'm sorry.
Looks like I've become the Walter White of my PhD cohort.
Walking around as slutty Ron Swanson is amazing
I mean it's up to you where you want to sleep but I'm telling you you're going to hear us have sex no matter what room you're in.
Fair enough
I've got 3 hot dudes surrounding me. It's the Bermudick Triangle.
Randomize
