Is this going to be a big send off or a somber occasion? Just need to know if I should start drinking on the train or not.
dude relax anyone of us could have gotten that girl pregnant
yup, got lost on my way to the final. maybe i should have gone to this class all semester
Just puked on the beach. Hungover. In front of my parents. I love summer.
remember last night when you and I took turns yelling THIS IS HUGE in my dogs faces? I love wine night.
the thought 'we cant do it, we're in a public place' crossed my mind, and then I realized he's succeeding if he's trying to domesticate me.
elevator sex. pronto.
Do you think that we can get a group discount on liver transplants? We'll be like kids again!
Sounds good. Stay safe. I'm kind of drunk in a Food 4 Less right now and I'm having the time of my life.
Just seen a chubby version of you. Nearly kidnapped her. Perfect woman
my mom snuck into my room, washed her clothes and made her breakfast. what the fuck she's a better boyfriend than I am
Waking up with cheese all over my clothes and my vibrator in my pants is a sign we drank way too much tequila last night
I guess you know it was a good night when you find your ripped underwear in your pocket, and a nerf bullet falls out of your pant leg 😂😂
Only in this town do you have a bridesmaid shortage due to pregnancies.
Tomorrow I'm going to tape my thumbs to my palms and my biceps to my abdomen to learn what it's like to be a t-rex for a day. Anyone else in?
Did you clean my apartment?
I thought it was a dream, I'm sorry
Please stay more often
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