Oral text is very safe with the right protection.
Why are all the lights on in my house? Every single one. Someone should turn them off but I'm the only one here and I'm sure as hell not doin it.
she definitely blew him on the riverbank, some lady floated past and said "have some pride honey", amazingly awkward
there's no food at this bar, but i'm pretty sure vodka is made of wheat so i'm basically drinking bread.
Don't try to dry clothes in the microwave. They'll catch on fire.
I have a music final in an hour so I put all the classical songs we need to know in a shower power hour playlist, beer included.
So I'm seriously not complaining - but I just fell ass backwards into a Tuesday night threesome. Sober
He said he could outsmoke me so I challenged him to a weed duel. I don't always very competitive but when I do...
By far the fardest thing to do drunk is open a band aid
still can't believe dude took a personal call while he was balls deep in my mouth.
Valentine's Day is now to be known as Tacos and Orgasms Day.
I've decided if you aren't here in fifteen minutes I'm leaving you for Mario the 75 year old Colombian bartender.
in the middle of telling this chick to sober up i was shotgunning beers. im gonna be ab awsome nurse.
(440): please tell me you didn't have sex in my dress.. IT'S A VIRGIN DRESS.
Third time this week I've caught co workers dry humping. Quarantine really changes people's priorities.
Randomize
