when people say theyve been sober for however many years is that like couple beers not drunk sober, or no drinking sober?
I say we get drunk before the exam tomorrow. At least then we have a valid excuse for failing.
Apparently I promised a worker at La Siesta free English lessons to make up for vomming all over the little Mariachi band.
I have officially had sex in every room on my floor. Don't say I'm not an amazing RA.
The entire defensive line took care if me when I passed out. One of them even held my hair when I puked and the other carried me upstairs to bed. God I love football so much more now
Watching the tv in the reflection of my phone cause I'm too hungover to roll over.... Yes it is 4 PM...
You never know, some chick could have a weird unibrow fetish.
I just contemplated drinking cheese dip. And by "contemplated," I mean "attempted and was forcibly stopped from."
We're listening to space jam. This can only be a good omen.
Did I just hear you ask Siri about the meaning of life?
I asked her if she could eat some Doritos so when we made out it would taste awesome
My apartment looks like the apocalypse of sobriety.
i opened the door and you were passed out on my doorstep wearing ugly shorts and cuddling a pinnapple, i dont know what happened to you.
The economy cant be that bad, I willingly got fired to bang her again.
Want to help me interview candidates to replace my Cub/Boy Toy when he leaves for grad school next month?
Randomize
