Is your delayed response due to the massive amount of judging going on?
I got you a housewarming gift. It starts with "A" and ends with "bottle of Jameson"
I've never played a more sexually-tense game of Uno in my life.
She's grinding on a deaf black man and I'm the interpreter.
not saying it was a bad idea to throw an impromptu party but someone stole the microwave
All of the sudden your world had become nothing but the sum of visible dicks. Welcome to life.
I have your car and your sandals. My shoes are somewhere under the puke couch. Safari time.
You'll have to pretend I'm texting you with buddychecks.
Like the Jimeny Cricket of cockblocks.
Who has the safety vest from this past weekend Additionally, who has the dancemaster glove?
I praised you last night for winning a chug off...you thanked me with a ridiculously hard headbutt. Thanks dick.
I don't have any plans for New Year's except watching anime and drinking until I can't read the subtitles anymore.
There is a dude riding on one of those standing wheel things inside forever 21. Calm down.
The irony of the fact that I'm going to be starting my period on Thanksgiving. Something to truly be thankful for.
You know that gay bartender? Not as gay as we thought.....
He couldn’t find my clit with a map. Literally. I drew him a map.
Randomize
