I think someone spiked my drink last night. .. Like all 20 of them.
yeah she was being a bitch. do you remember me stealing ryan cabrerra's beer?!?!
next time the cops show up in riot gear we should probably leave
and miss being on the news....no way
I just puked on my dog.I feel summer coming on
I like your house better though. Cause it has febreeze and lube.
I don't think you have any idea how kinky that sounds.
Everyone agrees they like your mother better drunk
His car is carseat is compatible. I checked while we were banging in the back seat...
i just remember explaining why my socks were better than everyone elses.
I AM TEN TEQUIA SHOOTS ON AND I JUST SAW SOMEONE DO A BODY SHOT OFFF OF JESUS
THIS FEELS SO WROG AND OH SO RIGHT
Jumanji is 1000% better stoned while cooking breakfast.
Did you or did you not grab my boob while I was making out with the foreign kid?
I apologize in advance for the number of sex toys drying on the bathroom sink.
There are horrible decisions in life and then there are tequila flavored moonshine decisions
So after we found out he wasnt throwing up blood in was just hawaiian punch and we all failed breathalyzers the cop drove us around like a taxi and brought us back to the apartment
she prefaced telling me she was pregnant with "houston, we have a problem"
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