my boyfriend just said he'd go down on me if I gave him my password to facebook
If you don't answer the phone then I will be forced to leave you a wonderful voicemail of me throwing up
Just got roadhead in a driving snowstorm. That shit should be a Winter X games event.
Please tell me the foreign boys in the kitchen this morning were yours.
full cup flip cup was not exactly the reason I wanted to tell the cops when I was sleeping on the curb
Golf group in front of us has 2 hooker caddies. One guy was getting a lap dance as he waited to tee off. Only in vegas.
I'm not trying to alarm you guys, but I think I just swallowed a ketchup packet.
I rode a bull tonight, There is absolutely no reason my dick is not in some chicks mouth
A guy with the name Pootie Tang winked st me and a guy that doesn't speak English messaged me. These are my choices?
Not my type. One of those types that loves that they're educated, could drink their red wine and have an intellectual conversation and have a wonderful time
An adult?
In the middle of our bar crawl last night we stopped to pet dogs at a dog park. who would let a drunk person bet play with their dog???
We did hand stand push-ups while beer bonging. Its now a thing
I bought more beer than I could carry and managed to fit it all in the fridge. It's an alcoholicmas miracle.
Dude she literally licked him. He was covered in cheese and in her high state what else was she gonna do?
its been well over a year and hes still saying sex with me was epic
Randomize
