He said he only talked to me because I talk dirty in bed.
If she's not going to maintain the upkeep of her vag then I'm not going to pay the rent of being her boyfriend
Being a girl sucks.
Being a boyfriend sucks for about a week, too
Well, it's hard to say. Last night he puked a perfect circle around him on the floor, and then sat in it insisting it would protect him from the smoke monster. He's was still there last time I checked.
She licked EVERYTHING then yelled at me in Spanish. I just kept saying SI.
He went 'unicorn hunting' and lost a fight with a fence. That's how he ended up in the ER.
That awesome feeling when you are pooping on the same toilet that nobel laureates have pooped on
I've literally already typed in by booty call text for friday night. all I have to do now is wait for is drunk me to press send
You are my mentor.
I drank wine out of a protein shake bottle last night. You may want to rethink that statement.
I'm getting a collar when he gets back in to town! That's like the bdsm equivalent of getting his class ring!
No. We can't get pedicures until my toenails grow back.
I've been sleeping with the same person for about two months now, I think I know a little bit about stability and commitment.
how am i in montreal? thats like a 3 hour train ride. i remember nothing.
you fell asleep with her panties on your face. how are you surprised??
Your ex spoke highly of your penis and it’s skill. I’m interested in learning more about it ;-)
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