I hope my future cuntsucker is that tight
big game today.. looking forward to seeing that magic win, and then i will celebrate with a nude dip in lake Eola.. anyone else in??
just saw a dude in a v-neck sweater on a bike drinking starbucks. way to feed the stereotypes white dude.
I wish I could put booze in boobs and store it for later. I wouldn't need a flask. For $7000, they should do amazing things like that.
i think i pulled off the nice guy thing too well. it just backfired later on when she thought i was actually nice.
im pretty sure the clearest way to say "dont worry, im not emotionally attached" was by sleeping with his roommate the next night
she slipped a pinky in my ass. Not sure if I came because I liked it or if I was terrified by it.
I really need to create fewer "the time I was on drugs" stories for my future memoir, "my first year in San Francisco".
good luck with that
The liquor stores are closed! NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO! CURSE YOU SANDY!!!!
He thought you were kidding about me peeing on my ex...and then I was like "that was one time"
Did you put candle wax on my balls last night?
I'm now consulting a magic eight ball on all major life decisions. On another note I think I have chlamydia.
Tinder date just called. I was supposed to be there 30 minutes ago but I'm on a 27 game win streak in Park...?
Fuck that man! Tell her your dog died or something. Reschedule that shit, you can't stop 2K at a time like that. Ball is life bro... Priorities.
The irony of the fact that I'm going to be starting my period on Thanksgiving. Something to truly be thankful for.
So technically I made out with my second cousin this weekend... But it's by marriage and I'm adopted, so it's ok.
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