I printed and framed a picture of a seagull shitting, and hung it in my house. I'm waiting to see how long it takes everyone to notice.
We have had massive layoffs this year, yet the guy who cant flush his shit seems to still have a job
I have discovered something important. The trick to making food taste better is not always 'more hot sauce'.
i have one hour to talk myself into enjoying giving him a blow job when i get home
She used the word "fragged" in proper context. tell me that's not bust-nut hot.
Their car went through the first bag of wine on the drive up...clearly 6 bags was not enough.
Want to get high and go thrifting? I'm trying to succeed making my dorm look like a deranged Applebees.
I'm reffing a fight in Fight Club I don't even know what I'm doing
on a brighter note, the cop thought i could kick adams ass if it came down to that and said he had $20 on me if it ever happens
You got her pregnant one week before your vasectomy? You couldn't wait one week to cheat on me?
You is good. You is important. You is a slut.
Doap. Just bring some lube and a slingshot. Not sure y we need the slingshot.
Stop calling him just to say, "my vagina misses you."
Idk what's worse.... Yesterday not waking up in my bed or today waking up in the hello kitty gown.
Do you think Ashley had her twin sister tag in for our date? The sex was different and I think a mole was missing
Randomize
