How fat would you say she has to be before I can consider this a threesome
When I meet a new girl, I'm terrified of mentioning something she hasn't already told me but that I have learned from some light internet stalking.
so he was shitfaced and kept using sticky notes to label everything like "beer spill" and "going to fuck later"
i shall enjoy my approximately 2 hours of being sober today
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I gave you a 45 minute blowjob. You were inside me for 3 minutes. I'm going to need you to get your shit together.
Yeah someone just put a trash bag that says "use protection" on the snow penis
We woke up, fucked twice, she drank 3 warm heinekins to cure her hangover and said "Im glad you're still hott when im sober"
Half of elefante. Gelafin galaxy
Idea for the cake. Joints for candles. Do it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
These bubbles make my penis feel like it is resting on clouds.
You know when you get a stripper pays your bail. You got good wood.
This dudes playing guitar and singing outside our window and he's like "ravioli is beterrrrrrr than tortelliniIii cause tortelliniiii is shaped like fucking ears"
It looks like a baby bear tried to chew off my nipples.
WHERE THE FUCK'S MY FUCKING RITALIN YOU FUCKING FASCIST?????
All I know is I woke up in the back seat of my car, with the engine on, and my gps navigated to florida.
Randomize