what are u so afraid of ive smelled ur poop before
It felt like his penis had an endoskeleton.
Just got roadhead while going 95. I came for a mile and a half.
I need you to send me a picture of your dick. I want to forward it to that girl and you and i both know you're more impressively sized
i have no feeling in my penis or fingers but i think it was worth it
Did I happen to mention where i left my keys when I drunk dialed you last night
they drunkenly created an obstacle course for the poor hamster and its ball.
does the girl puking in my garbage belong to you?
Need your help. Dad's drunk and trying to build a still in the basement.
NM he's asleep in a pile of towels. They need to ease people back into Hockey Night in Canada.
Dude, I have everything I need for meth here.
YOU ARE NOT ALLOWED TO MAKE METH IN OUR APARTMENT.
They wouldn't let me on the bull because I couldn't even sign my own name... She let me try 3 times...
I never thought my gollum impression would lead to me getting laid.
Huzzah!
While he was fucking me, he just stopped and said, "Mike says Hi." Then proceeded to fuck me.
What did you do?
What do you say to that!? But, when I came, I screamed out my full name.
I just want to find somebody intelligent enough to trick my parents into thinking she's not a trophy wife. Is that too much to ask?
I’m the skeleton in his closet, but I only come out on Tuesday and Thursday afternoon and when his wife is out of town
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