When I woke up his cat was sleeping on my face and i had scratch marks on my neck. not happy.
only room for one pussy in that bed.
clay aiken is like melissa ehteridge without the guitar.
Ask me how many people I've slept with. Because its changed since I last saw you.
I saw you 20 MINUTES AGO. You need to stop this.
dude i just saw a drunk guy attempt to get by IUPD and throw a uprooted bleacher seat over the edge of the stadium. funniest thing of life.
details please.
they caught him 10 rows from the top. the first thing he said was "wait I can explain, i just have to throw this over first."
I lost count after the 4th body shot but I think I'm wearing at least 3 different peoples clothes.
Oh my god I just remembered I bit a stripper last night.
Yo, go checkout Kerri's Instagram quick! There's like 12 pics of her fucking some guy in a bar's bathroom. GO GO GO GO!!!!
I gave him a bunch of ideas to use to spice up their sex life. Say what you will, I am the best 'other' woman ever!
Can we just cry and dive into a couch-sized bag of sadness-chips, dip them in a la-z-boy sized jar of depression salsa while watching a show called 'Forget Your Hopes and Dreams, Just Kill Yourself'?
But seriously. What possible excuse could I come up with to ditch my parents on Christmas to go fuck him?
All I remember is dance battling with a man named tom the entire time who kept buying me drinks so id say it was a success
Same I threw up in 3 different cities already today
Just burnt my tongue. Not sure if it will help or hurt giving blow jobs
Your not drunk until you have to grab on to the grass to keep from falling off the earth.
The cops asked Ben if he was drunk and he slurred "I'm man enough to admit that I am" with a southern draw
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