What did we do last night that was yellow?
well you can't waste a boner
whispering "taste the rainbow" well having sex isn't my biggest turn on.
Ok, honestly? Periods can't be THAT bad, have you ever tried to shave a ball sack?!
I got asked if I was pregnant as a pickup line
Found my underwear in a solo cup. That about sums up this weekend.
True enough. Do you ever think that these girls grandparents ghosts are watching you masterbate to their granddaughters and look at you in Shame?
I snapchatted his face mid sex. Needless to say, I don't think I'll ever see him again.
We got to his house, cuddled while watching game of thrones, then fucked during the repeat airing.
They pay me enough to pretend to be either helpful, or heterosexual. If they want both I need one hell of a raise.
I'm at the back whiskey bar with a 7 and 7 in a winnie the pooh costume. Come find me.
Just took acid. Wish me luck.
I worked out twice today and you're dropping acid. My life sucks.
You would think by the size of the lump on my ass that I would have remembered falling down a flight of stairs.
its been well over a year and hes still saying sex with me was epic
You ran outside mistaken the snow for sand and started screaming "WHERES TH BEACH"
Randomize
