uhhh i just had a guy tell me he's seen more jam bands and done more drugs than i could err imagine. what a turn on.
I buy you gas. You blow me. Economics.
Hne relally is a cite oerfect gome. Nes awddddddddooooome.
James this is colleen. This is my new number. You just texted my grandma about getting cockblocked. Congratulations.
Serious question: Should I volunteer to get tazered? My instincts say no but my wild side says yes.
So, this year for my birthday, want to get rip-roaring schmammered and watch my episode of my super sweet 16? We can do lines off my tiara.
Wors thing about having a cop dad: random drug testing
you said you would race him to taco bell but you slipped in the parking lot and just laid there, crying
He is dating a girl who is on the Olympic shooting team...I've never been so scared to hit on a guy with a girlfriend in my entire life.
Wesley I'm sober and my body hurts. There wasn't much trust in any of those falls.
they set my background as his mugshot to remind me "having a big penis won't be a valid excuse in a court room."
i tried to propose to him with my nipple ring but i couldnt figure out how to take it out
Last night he told me I was never sexier than when I was cutting pizza. Seriously. Like, he's perfect.
It was pretty awesome. I drank out of a stein and attempted to dance to dubstep with some older guys in leiderhosen.
I’ve had a lot of vodka, 3 different dicks and no food since last night. Come get me
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