Help i just walked in on mom blowing dad
Is it just me or are more fat girls getting belly button piercing these days?
The cop only confirmed I'm .22% Irish. Then I threw up on him.
i knew it was going to be a good night when i was bleeding, licked it and it tasted like miller light
I'm currently using two paint brushes as chopsticks to eat lasagna.... college.
He tried peeing out of the sunroof.
I can't tell you what you just drank, that would ruin the point of Mystery Monday.
I just got a reminder alert on my phone for an event I titled "Bradley getting stupid high with me in bed." I assume we planned this during the party. I'm down if you are.
No, he went to go get condoms. The least I could do was chug two beers before he got back
can i text him and be like "oh yeah, forgot i kinda made out with a girl this weekend. For future reference, does this count as cheating?" ?
That's awesome and prob the first time you had an idea of what to do. I'm super proud of you Chelz
Its cos im stoned ! My high self is maturing
I just spent 20 minutes in a Subway trying to take a candid photo of the doppleganger of the guy I lost my virginity to instead of eating. That's all the evidence I need that my life is on track.
He gives me the same feeling I get when someone puts a margarita or German chocolate cake in front of me
Dude on a beach in sicily and a blonde jesus just smoked us out and then tried to makeout with me I am never leaving this place
Next time we smoke please remind me to put my bong back in my build a bear box. My mom says if I leave it out one more time she's keeping it for herself.
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