Holy cold harsh reality of sobriety batman
I'd rather watch my mom take a shit while reading the sunday new york times than watch mama mia .
Bristol Palin says: Remember to use protection
You came in at two thirty, wearing your underwear and a tie then asked where you could find a sombrero and a pair of stilletos that would fit your men's size thirteen feet.
she broke up with me using backstreet boy lyrics
you deserved it if you knew it was backstreet boys.
Dude, she looked like the Canadian Slam Poet, neck hair and all.
The more I hate his personality, the more I love his penis.
My wedding band has saved me from at least four cases of herpes tonight.
On Wednesday I'm putting wine in a water bottle and crashing Margaret thatchers funeral
Is he the circus guy or the bi-curious street preacher?
We got drunk and crashed a fifty year old woman's birthday party for the food. Whoops.
Did you take the full box of samoas or do I not remember getting baked and eating half a box by myself?
Nothing like being naked and confused and clutching a scented candle...at least I woke up in my own bed though.
my morning attempts to try to have sex with him was interrupted by the passion of the christ parade going on outside my house
The viagra-rita was a sexual success and a furniture failure. He said it was the best cowgirl sex he’s ever had even with the broken couch
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