I just saw Ann slam dunk her puke bag into a trash can on Avenue A. You ladies might want to consider putting the Patron shots down and going home.
why does he think he needs to feed/take me out to get some ass? we are at a bar wasting my fucking time
he doesn't care that i have a boyfriend so why should i?
logic in its finest
All i remember was he was wearing billibong pants... well actually my mom found that out for me.
does she really think making her boyfriend delete me on facebook is going to magically stop us from hooking up?
But fine, we can play that game. You can come over and we can have totally platonic, long, boring discussions. Or we can fuck. Whatever.
I renamed his cat Jeff last night. Well I spray painted it on him.
I can't help but feel like we would be friends still if my phone didn't always capitalize BUTTLOAD...
He was just lying on the living room floor watching Star Wars with six empty pack of cigarettes and two empty cases of beer.
In his defence I guess I did take the bed, couch and dining room set in the breakup.
Soggy bong water carpet is the worst kind of carpet.
I guess I look like the kind of girl who would buy edible, weed-infused lube.
So the doorbell rang while we were banging, and I'm pretty sure the pizza man saw my dick. But hey, we got pizza.
He said it wasn't ladylike of me to drink more whiskey than him. I told him to stop being a little bitch.
I'd have to have a ring. Like I don't want to be called "the ex girlfriend that shit on me"
You WHAT?!?!
Paid. A. Homeless. Guy. To. Throw. A. Drink. In. Her. Face.
I fucking love you.
Randomize
