I want to give you a handjob with my mouth.
Is it possible to jerk off a nipple?
you can't get genital warts from dogs can you?
Cops showed up at 4 am to address a noise complaint and she called them pussies for not doing shots with us.
no you're not listening to me HE WANTED TO BRAID MY HAIR
Also I just saw on facebook your sister is taking pole dancing lessons. Just a heads up.
i just discovered a movie that charlize theron is a sex addict. i think my prayers have been answered
Touche. Dude, I fastened garters. Drunk. I deserve a medal from a drag queen.
When the cops pulled up I just stood flat against the fence with my hands up while yelling out,"I'm a tree!!"...
If we laid all the dicks that's have been inside of us end to end it would be as tall as 4 story building. 40 feet of dicks.
Martha Stewart has had a one night stand and is unsure if she's had a threesome. I no longer feel slutty.
You know it was a good night when visa fraud prevention services are calling
I heard a crunch while giving him head. I looked up and he was eating Cheese Itz. So we made a deal that he'd take a hand job so I could eat them too.
Omg my brain. Most recent thought: I fucking prayed in the bathroom that the other girl would leave. Prayed to Jesus
This is why I can't take dates to shows... I've literally made out with everyone in this band. And two of the guys in the crowd. And the bartender.
Randomize
