No. You are not the Kate in this relationship. I will do what I want.
do you have any idea why i woke up naked spooning my toaster?
we couldnt tell if he was gay so we started working glee quotes into the conversation to see if he noticed.
I need a gatorade, my back cracked, my crimper, my shot glass, a sock of rice and an explanation.
You did this to yourself.
I woke up to a hotel manager knocking on my car ( window was down) and asking if I was ok
Well good for him for getting your number before he told you he had no money and needed you to pay for his drink!
Okay hun. Well my neighbors haven't called the cops yet so I think we're good. No more burning in the yard.
That accounts for only three of the penises
i went to the 24h massage place last night and brought down the price for a hand job from $50 to $12.75 and half the big mac left in my bag.
All my interactions with my brother are drug deals at this point
Her ass is the reason I still believe in a higher power
Was your wine and cheese snap taken from the toilet?
I made out with a girl because I wanted to get in the VIP section of the bar because they have these big comfy couches. It worked.
all I know is that I was naked, and there were cheeto puffs everywhere...
My boob job is like a master key that gets me in any door, any party and anyone’s pants! They’re magical!
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