im letting my talent of no gag reflex go to waste
He had some BAD nuttage
Nuttage?
It's like cleavage......... but different
I want to see you every morning in the kitchen ass naykid on roller blades making pancakes.
Stop sending me these texts. This is your mom, not your girlfriend.
I just had the ultimate walk of shame. I'm barefoot, in his gym short with vomit in my hair and I walked half a mile through campus. At noon. Thanks for picking up ur phone
he wont speak to me right now because i told him it must suck knowing he'll never be as good as edward cullen..idiot.
you are my new fav person for making him do the walk of shame in pink footie pajamas!
I envy you so much. I get girls who pee on my floor and you get girls who leave in the middle of the night
You know why I moved here? No public intoxication law. A cop just helped me from my bent over vomit pose, asked if I was ok, and gave me a ride home.
But life isn't just all about getting drunk & eating chicken strips.
We still need to grow old, buy a house, and drink 40's while wearing old people sunglasses, staring at the young studs mowing our lawn.
Just had a heart to heart with my John Belushi poster.
I broke a glass at the bar and ended up with blood on my forehead. I apparently kept screaming BLOOD like the little boy in that YouTube video.
I'm so jealous of your sex life. You know it's awesome when thinking about the sex you had last night brings you tears of joy.
He's completely obsessed with his ex but gives phenomenal head. So overall, yeah, good first date.
When was the last time you got laid?
When was the last time you came home sober?
touche
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