Apparently you walked through my house with your dress on your head
i wish there were pregnant emoticons
i just heard one Asian kid say to another, "i bet if i could get into Harvard i could get laid all the time, my brother lost his virginity the first night there."
i just got a clause named after me in the 'alcohol and drug use' section of the handbook. this is certainly a warning sign.
i googled waterboarding like you asked. as long as you do it outside. we have carpet. but i wont be a part of it.
Dude if our hands were ladels we could work at a soup kitchen
That would be so convenient
Just thought you should know that your brother tried to febreeze his floors with cooking spray last night.
she's a dental assistant. she can get nitrous. kinda looks like a sloppy bucket of fuck. time to take one for the team. NEED SHOTS STAT!!
I mean it was like cry my eyes out or masturbate in my moms bathroom.
I definitely think you should enjoy one last spring break being a sorostitute before you get serious and settle down with price charming. I mean hes not going to be there any way. he can wait a week.
did you just try to prove your straightness by quoting a lady gaga song?
Sometimes you just gotta get high and go to a planetarium. Why can't he understand that?
There's nothing like when u really click with a stripper
Yeah I know my dick is weird, but I've surprisingly had a lot of fun with it.
false alarm, still single
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