I'm skeptical of all drag queens.
she said it was okay because they were "professional" nude pictures of her on the internet
I should just throw a hundred dollar bill into the wind and walk away... save myself the hangover.
I'm watching this guy on intervention hospitalized for liver damage. He's drinking the hand sanitizer in the hospital room. Say hello to your future.
I'm picking out a half way decent top so if I get arrested I'll have a respectable mug shot photo. Always be prepared.
So from the residue on my balls I think it was mashed potatoes she had in her mouth
there's no food at this bar, but i'm pretty sure vodka is made of wheat so i'm basically drinking bread.
He also gave me two gold stars for sex. On my nipples.
I won the booty shaking contest by mooning the whole bar
Remember that time you bought snap bracelets on Amazon and they sent you 300 pregnancy tests instead? Amazon knows.
You told me you were with a dog dressed as a taco, and it was the only one you trusted
Fyi, shaking your genitals at me doesn't count as "trying to have sex".
It stopped being casual for me when I waxed my vagina for you
Perfect. I'll put on my party clothes and write emergency numbers on my arm
He only has one ball. it was like fucking a cyclops.
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