How do I get over judging people who I would be exactly like if I had a boyfriend
Get a boyfriend
I'm waiting for seagulls to eat this throw up
Do you know of any times in scooby doo when the monster turned out to be a real monster? You know not just a person?
u know whats better than using ur vibrator? using it w/ jeopardy on in the background and half moaning the correct final jeopardy question. yeah that just happened.
naw. unless you want me to sit in a corner, not understand english and eat all of your cheese then i don't think it's a good idea.
Just went through ex bf's and hook up buddys and liked pictures of them on facebook. A friendly reminder that I will be back in for the holidays
Cut a hole in the crotch of my onesie so we could have sex without me getting cold. Best decision of my life.
Buying a pregnancy test at Walmart in the middle of the night in the middle of Tennessee is not really how I imagined my 25th year on this planet starting out...
I think I met somebody from your birthday this past weekend. He said I held a push up contest outside the bar and told them I would make out with the winner. He said he won..
I used to think not drinking while I was pregnant was not gonna be a problem, but I now I'm like shit that's a long time
She invited us over for cocaine and donuts
Morning fuck and a coffee. ARE YOU READY TO CONQUER THE GALAXY WITH ME??
Sooooooo this guy just asked me if I'd be interested in a threesome... I'm considering bc I would get to hang out with his dog afterwards.
The kitchen also doubles as a screaming room after midnight as long as you have something to muffle the sound
It's just a friend who is recently single and I'm going to heal his broken heart with my vagina
Randomize
