Hello, balls-out mistake. It's been a while.
If you really hate me that much, you need to stop letting me put my penis inside of you. It sends the wrong message.
Today the house voted to defund Planned Parenthood but to continue funding NASCAR. I fucking hate everything.
I wanna take him on a special date, something that says I banged your brother but since he moved I want you
I'm having mini little movies in my head. Like for example. You were talking to a blue whale with jazz man sunglasses, but not the ray charles jazz sunglass. More like sunglasses that are round. Anyway, he has a baguette and stupid french hat. And you , you had your harry potter glasses.
my question is who was more confortable? You sleeping on the floor or me tweeting from a bush?
No more margaritas for you. Also, tequila should be reclassified as a hallucinogen.
He may not be fully over his current wife yet. But wait until I show him my tits in his office at the end of the day tonight.
I'm 10 cats away from completing my post divorce transformation.
She called to say the cops were not fake cops. some one has to go get her in an hour
Idk I think he's weird but he's also from Wisconsin so that might have something to do with it.
Pillow talk?
can't do it. no eye contact either.
Where have you been all my life
Also your Swedish friend who's name I don't remember is really good in bed.
*Norwegian
Just a reminder- you dropped broccoli in my car and then felt bad for it and named him Henry
I know. I miss henry.
no fucks will be given and no pants will be worn
i'll bring the vodka
Randomize
