she calls it her "sourpuss" because everyone makes that face when they see it.
Can we reminisce? I held a mans penis while he peed. This is the craziest night I've ever had.
So, I just sold my textbook to have money for Plan B.
four loko is apparently banned in the us. so i think its time for us to stock up. i already emailed them about buying them in bulk
Don't freak out about the couches in the driveway. We tried to unpack the uhaul drunk.
You told her dad that you were gonna "superman that ho" I love the first impressions you make
HURRY. I NEED DRUNK. MORE DRUNK.
I punted my pants across my apt at my roommate last night. Everything else is kinda fuzzy.
He yearns for your heart.
He needs to stop being a pussy about it.
You were throwing cups at people in the basement, yelling at them to get out of your swamp.
LMAO I like how "don't worry I'll bring chasers" is your way of assuring things will be ok
either he just commented on my nose ring or he's offering me cocaine, I honestly can't tell
I feel like that japanese guy who ate all the hotdogs. Except replace hotdogs with sailor jerrys. And instead of a trophy and world record I just get a hangover at work
Did you at least know who's jizz it was?
That is questionable.
My psychiatrist just sent me a dick pic
Randomize
