The 3 of us think it's time to start drinking.
3?
Me, myself and I
birth control and beer are two of the most beautiful creations ever invented.
keep an eye on me. i'm afraid that after a few more drinks i'll ask to borrow his wheelchair.
But I feel like studying my flashcards during a blowjob would be rude...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he kept saying that we were in ian's fun time place and then continued to act like a dinosaur.
Don't bang him. The amount of Jack Johnson he listens to is embarrassing for even a white person.
Just woke up from a weed coma and found a stem in my bra. Rainy day success.
She cried the whole movie and got kicked out for saying "[Santa's beard] looks so soft I wanna stick my dick in it." We're going again next week. Drunk animation majors are the best
My head feels like Jesus is projectile vomiting hammers on it
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
No, it's cool, I just bounced from the hospital. I was...talking to a security guard, maybe?
We peed together in a dark alley while holding hands. That is a bond that can never be broken.
Enough talk of my burning loins. How is your day?
We need to get me chipped asap
the insurance claim form from last night says foreign object removal from genitourinary tract so as far as the insurance company knows, it could have been a gerbil
I drank beer out of a Frisbee and it was all downhill from there...
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