Is pulling weed out of a vagina a good thing or a bad thing?
My parking ticket this morning was 30bucks. I feel like I'm paying the city to fuck you.
i took my goldfish out of his bowl last night and put him in my bed
I just shot gunned a beer for your birthday alone because you're too hungover at midnight to get out of bed. I'm not sure which of us is the bigger loser
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
GOING OUT OF BUSINESS: we're having a foreclosure party tonight...We'll also be raffling off a washer/dryer, microwave and a white tiger head.
I think off duty cops drove me home. I may have been hitchhiking
He gave up on mugging us when Dave wouldn't stop laughing. He was wiggling his finger at the knife and making baby noises and giggling. The guy just walked away.
Thank you for making it possible for me to get laid while having peace of mind my dog is well taken care of.
Adults smoke weed in footie pajamas man. You just gotta accept me for who I am.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
is there a line between daddy kink and oedipus complex?
but seriously, an anthropology paper shouldn't be hard if you're trashed, right?
I don't think I have face palmed that many times in such a short period. And I've worked tech support.
I need to hire someone full-time to slap food and dick away from me.
I've had way too many dicks in my mouth the past two weeks. Ready to go back to school and be a doctor now
....even the bartender was embarrassed for her
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