ill give you a foot job if you come over before 4
Tell her she can't have a vagina
just a forewarning-if you come home and hang out with your stupid girlfriend the entire time that you are here/fail to get wasted with us i will wish either death upon you or that you truly do turn gay when you return to the navy.
so whats your words to drink to for the state of the union? mine are 'change' 'fight' and 'you know'.
mine is 'the'.
According to google history I spent most of last night trying to buy an elephant.
Nah it's cool, I made him pinky promise me he wouldn't die if I left him passed out in the bathroom.
2nd night home for break and we had to call the fire department to keep the house from burning down. At this rate I'll be lucky to see you next semester.
They're calling for 20 inches of snow but I'll have a dirtbike for emergency trips to the liquor store. Even if I crash it won't hurt.
My overnight senior got drunk and hooked up with Kaylee on Sunday. I checked Facebook and he already put down his deposit for next year. This school should pay me a commission.
he tried breathing fire using moonshine and a roman candle. would not have believed it unless i actually witnessed it.
I would rather burn my vagina off with a damn flame thrower before I would touch anything that has touched her skank ass.
I SMOKED SO MUCH I SKIPPED A DAY.
She called to say the cops were not fake cops. some one has to go get her in an hour
I made him fuck me while wearing a Thor helmat from Walmart. Geek sex is the best sex
I just saw a guy faceplant off a unicycle while holding a saxophone, while his buddy riding another unicycle and sporting a flute rode by laughing
Only at UConn...
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