those girls across the street saw me hanging my towel off of my penis...they're coming over later
I think i peed on brittanys purse
I wish costco sold astroglide.
i wish my brain was less awake, and didn't try and picture what you were talking about.
girl in front of me at starbucks just ordered 7 shots of espresso in her latte. welcome to finals week
Did we have sex last night or did we just wake up naked covered in oil?
I just got kidnapped by the rugby team for a scavenger hunt. I'm "the girl you had sex with last night"
She's good at three things and two of them involve dicks. And other one involves her love for arts
Just had a stripper snatch my glasses off my face with her ass
He kept moaning America instead of Erica while fucking me.
He won't ever take me seriously if I keep getting drunk and hooking up with all his friends.
So my mom and I were talking about what I should get you for christmas. She made it clear I cannot get christmas lingerie.
Major win last night. I traded my roommate two cigs for a six pack and a bag of beef jerky. This has been a Brian weekend update
i need to start buying Plan B in bulk and leaving them at the door. I'm really sick of walking to CVS with my one-nighters
SINCE WHEN WAS USING A FROZEN WATER BOTTLE ATTACHED TO A ROPE AS A THROWING WEAPON A GOOD IDEA??
It's like the perfect sandwich, once you find it you want to ensure your future access to it.
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