Joe is a total sociopath, I'm going to hook up with him tonight
My toast was "here's to being positive, and testing negative... Cheers!"... after that chick gagged on her shot, everyone knew.... slut.
I need to stop researching the drugs I do on Wikipedia. The parts about abuse and dependency hit too close to home
Dude. I am seriously trying SO hard not to be amused by Honey Boo Boo. But the fact is, she just got a mani pedi with her gay uncle Poodle, and he got a discount because he only has nine toes, and I am ALL IN.
Cat. Why do you sit on things I need to use.
Because it is cat.
Feel better punkin. Your balls will be gently resting on my forehead in no time
Just got a message from a drag queen on okcupid. I cant even catfish successfully.
Lets just say...I plan on being a bigger shitshow than Miley Cyrus at the VMA'S
The Vicodin is in the strawberries.
all I know is id definitely throw up if you guys ever dated so if you do stay the fuck away from me
I brought her cheeseburgers and tequila but she's still mad at me.
My vibrator turned on under my pillow when I was taking a nap this morning... I nearly shit my pants.
I think I just sharted jello shots
Don't ask but i need a priest, a calzone, a litre of gravy, and exactly 7 oreos
And a bag of nachos
He may be a manwhore, but he’s a very well endowed manwhore
That’s an important feature when it comes to a manwhore
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