just so you know, the whole club saw your tits last night. and booed.
If Jon and Kate can get divorced...how hard can it be for me?
Have you ever had champagne poured on you during sex? It was like a rap video
my dad just told me he wants a furry wall in the house... i'm proud and concerned
It was huge And he was twirling it around. Im telling you, beautiful wonderpenis
I just found a wine bottle in my shower. Must have been a good night.
It's not that he's ugly its just that being blind folded makes everything less awkward
we somehow managed to fit a llama, a stripper pole and a hayride all into the same day.
Good thing my vagina doesn't have a chronometer on it. I'm sure my fiance would be horrified. Probably 10 miles from this past weekend alone.
I say I hate my boss but I find myself jerking off to him more and more with each passing day
There is no way to say this. Dude, I peed your bed. No questions, no answers. My flight leaves in 30 minutes. Use my detergent. Also, THE VODKA IN THE FRIDGE IS YOURS.
chicken nuggets make me a bit homicidal
That was a beautiful concert to sleep through ...
I know - Don't let me take drugs from strangers anymore
I don't remember anything from last night, but at track I found my thong next to the high jump pit... So it must has been decent
it was like 6 shots in and he was automatically my type
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