I plan on putting pajamas back on after I shower. Today is going to be awesome.
And. No one ejaculated on anyones face. This is all wrong
so I have this game called 14 beers left. and we both have to drink 7 before we leave
Discovered the secret to willingly attending my 3-o'clock class. Ahoy, Cap'n.
I woke up in what appears to be a taco bell graveyard in my bed.
well he's currently spooning the coffee table
Its bad when you wake up with a penis drawn on your face. Its worse when you find out its traced..
We all just did coke and we're coloring so if you're sober its pointless for you to come over here
and if planning a fake elopement keeps me from fucking strangers and doing drugs, i think it's good for me
He's easy on the eyes, light on his feet, and rough in bed...what more could a girl ask for in a rebound?
FYI: Brian said he left me in the bathroom Friday night to shower and 45 minutes later found me with a towel around my head, my pants on and holding my boobs. No more Jell-O shots for me.
that's what I'm here for. I'm literally just bad advice mixed with motivational sentences.
I have sent texts to the pizza delivery guy telling him he was beautiful. Oh and you almost got a ticket for pissing in public. And I smell like cheese.
Now, I know I say this a lot, but you've obviously never seen my penis.
I wasn’t trying to be creepy it just happened
I’m beginning to think that’s your defining personality trait.
Randomize
