She def said "you had your chance!" after telling me she had a boyfriend. Like a pile of dogshit lecturing me on how I missed out on having itself stuck to the bottom of my shoe.
stayed up to watch the sunrise..saw an albino taking shots on the quad..it's like there's a whole new world of people out there just waiting to meet us
I've had cake for breakfast the past 3 days. You tell me how bikini season is going.
Some random slut told me I was a good dancer then gave me a handjob. I felt like fucking John Travolta.
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Then he took his girlfriend's fuzzy handcuffs and locked me to their bed. Key is in an unknown location. He's surprisingly idiotic, for being premed.
I feel like i got beat with a pillowcase full of tequila shots.
He said hes taking shrooms and watching jurassic park so we're making a t-rex costume
we need ur ladder
I found his backpack for the weekend. All it had was ping pong balls, mardi gras beads, and Tums.
Everything smells like beer. Everything. But I cant drag myself out of bed to take a shower. So beer it is.
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Did you guys have sex yet? And don't worry, I broke the ice already by sending this to both of you. So you can just jump right into it. You're welcome.
When I woke up my bed had been moved to the middle of my living room, a hippie was spooning me on one side and a pile of cocaine on the other, did I go through a time warp or are we still in 2012?
Yeah I figured you were blackout when you were Shakira dancing on the floor.
When a guy invites you to dinner and breakfast the next day it's implied that he's going to make some sweet loving in betwixt correct?
I think the pizza guy was in shock..
Well I didn't mean to answer the door only in socks but I mean come on, 4 hours of sex works up an appetite! I WAS RAVENOUS
One day when i undoubtedly need an intervention please let it include lightsabers.
I think I can handle that.
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