So we made editble underwear with fruit roll ups and fruit by the foot
Cumbucket.....OH MY GOD THAT COMES UP AUTOMATICALLY NOW!!
You don't even understand how penises react in the cold. I'm like a 8 year old boy right now.
Her birthday cake consisted of a shot of tequila with a candle in it
Correct me if I'm wrong here... but did we serenade each others breasts to "winds of change" last night?
I think I left my camera at your house. It would be in both of our best interests if you don't go through the pics.
I said "have a good day officer and I'll see you friday when I get arrested for being too drunk.."
As shirtless as possible
She is high at the bar - she thinks the bottle of frangelico is aunt jemima telling her to stop doing drugs.
I dont even think your gonna like what I got you for christmas. If not we can take it back and get drugs.
Next time I feel awkward in a situation I'm going to just yell "free bird!!!!" Like some redneck at lynyrd skynyrd show
I was basically just fingering myself and thinking about space.
AHHHHHHHHH. I LEFT A GLASS NEXT TO ME WHEN I FELL ASLEEP I'M SO SURE IT WAS WATER BUT NOW IT'S VODKA JESUS MADE A STOP
god dammit I AM NO LONGER PUTTING UP WITH YOUR HETEROSEXUALITY I QUIT
where did we go last night? there's dollar bills all over my room & they're all wet.
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