Yo dont text me then not text me
i want to give my vagina back to god and say no thank you
no you're not listening to me HE WANTED TO BRAID MY HAIR
You then began crawling around in the grass with a magnifying class saying you were searching for the magic school bus.
The fact that its 530pm and I'm saying to myself I should sober up since I'm at a family establishment should say enough
Last awkward moment of 2011: your ex gf grinding on me in front of her husband.
Middle of vacation, he walked into an audition for a Broadway musical in a drunken stupor. I think he got the part.
You kept trying to use my cat as a napkin.
ur mom makes the best bacon
WHAT ARE YOU DOING IN MY HOUSE
dont eat that thats our sex nutella.
I would do everything over again, except the fireball.
I thought since you asked to see my dick I might as well say hi
A log hopped out of the fireplace and caught the carpet on fire. Good summary of this election if you ask me.
You thought her boot was a stray dog in your house..
You really need to stop getting injured so often it's really starting to negatively impact my sex life. Oh and get well soon. . . no seriously though hurry the fuck up.
Randomize
