After last night's events, I googled "how to change your life direction." I found a really helpful ehow.com article.
I'm sorry you missed class, the topic today is copy and paste. I'm not even kidding.
THAT stays in the CAR. And if one fucking person who was NOT in the car brings it up, I will KILL you. Thank you.
..So we should take it off Youtube?
I really want to know why half of my kitchen floor is missing.
are you aware you chucked your pizza at a girl's face after the bar last night?
he's drinking beer at home in his underwear tonight and if you want to come over the dresscode is underwear only. And you have to bring beer.
have i crossed some slutty boundary when gay guys are sending me cock pics?
how exactly do you say, "i only agreed to meet you for breakfast because i thought we could go to your place and fuck afterwards."
Apparently she has a 10 week old kid, which would explain the hallway effect I was feeling.
I wish you were awake and high the same times I was awake and high. And also in the same state. So we can fuck passionately.
My cat is staring at me while I drink my wine on the bathroom floor in the morning instead of attending class. Sorry mom and dad. Sorry cat.
I feel like I spent all day wearing underpants made entirely of poison ivy and sandpaper
I just had sex with a man wearing a Darth Vader helmet....he pressed the voice button the whole time that said "I am your father". I don't think I can ever come back from this
It's so Britney 2007, you know?
Once my new license was put into my hand, a light from the heavens shined down and pauly D's voice was in my mind saying ohh yeaaah 21 yeaaah
Randomize
