she was definitely a virgin. no ones that bad unless theyre a virgin
your sister was..
this is two weekends in a row I've been the pantsless girl at the party. I love my social life.
We have nothing in common but the sex rocks, would it be awful to develop a drug habit just to have a topic of conversation?
my secret santa just gave me a pregency test
please hurry. your mom just evil laughed to herself in the kitchen like she's plotting my death.
She told me to stay away from him cause apparently he fucks anything that walks. clearly i responded with..."i walk"
I'm so proud of your ability to turn my Charlie horse last night into anal sex.
the paramedic just looked at me like "you again?"
please don't text me until you can spell three letter words again.
Listen I know you hate her for what she did but this is getting our of hand. Please please tell me where you hid her wedding dress.
Plus, I've always wanted to drive in rush hour with a huge cock drawn on my hood
That money I left you should go to the stripper that fell asleep in your bed. Sorry
Seeing Grandma lick chocolate sauce off of the male stripper was definitely not the way I planned to enter the world of legal drinking.
Nothing like sunday church bells to aid your walk to the pharmacy to get plan b
Don’t drink the Bloody Mary - it’s vodka and salsa.
Randomize
