Texts From Last Night

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  (337): View more from Louisiana

  thats the only time ive ever had sloppy firsts

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  (337): thats the only time ive ever had sloppy firsts http://tfl.nu/kmf7
  Replies (16) Good night (815) Bad night (3417)
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  (586): View more from Michigan

  Just spent 45mins blow drying a joint i dropped in a beer....i felt like i dropped his infant child....

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  (586): Just spent 45mins blow drying a joint i dropped in a beer....i felt like i dropped his infant child.... http://tfl.nu/unbg
  Replies (23) Good night (1081) Bad night (4276)
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  (570): View more from Pennsylvania

  Have you ever made a sandwich from swedish fish and tortilla chips?

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  (570): Have you ever made a sandwich from swedish fish and tortilla chips? http://tfl.nu/n3qx
  Replies (19) Good night (3418) Bad night (3545)
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  (207): View more from Maine

  I woke up this morning with my hair wrecked, a split lip, and an "H" on my right knee and a "I!" on my other knee.

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  (207): I woke up this morning with my hair wrecked, a split lip, and an "H" on my right knee and a "I!" on my other knee. http://tfl.nu/4bjn
  Replies (18) Good night (4863) Bad night (1259)
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  (716): View more from New York

  So even though we broke up apparently according to my voice mail you still like me, with smurfs while riding on a boat.

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  (716): So even though we broke up apparently according to my voice mail you still like me, with smurfs while riding on a boat. http://tfl.nu/aisk
  Replies (5) Good night (3209) Bad night (1014)
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  (858): View more from California

  ITS DAYLIGHT SAVINGS TIME SUNDAY EVERYTHING IS GOING TO BE OK AFTER ALL

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  (858): ITS DAYLIGHT SAVINGS TIME SUNDAY EVERYTHING IS GOING TO BE OK AFTER ALL http://tfl.nu/gcph
  Replies (7) Good night (1808) Bad night (995)
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  (717): View more from Pennsylvania

  i left the icescrapper in his bathroom. i dont remember taking it there, but i remember brushing his hair with it.

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  (717): i left the icescrapper in his bathroom. i dont remember taking it there, but i remember brushing his hair with it. http://tfl.nu/e8nk
  Replies (2) Good night (2165) Bad night (796)
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  (202): View more from Washington, DC

  You're gonna die alone anyway. Even if you do meet a man, they die earlier than women. Best case, you have to deal with grieving over his death and then die alone a couple years later. Worst case, you get a terminal illness and he divorces you, leaving you to die alone anyway.

  (1-202): View more from Washington, DC

  Thanks, mom.

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  (202): You're gonna die alone anyway. Even if you do meet a man, they die earlier than women. Best case, you have to deal with grieving over his death and then die alone a couple years later. Worst case, you get a terminal illness and he divorces you, leaving you to die alone anyway. (1-202): Thanks, mom. http://tfl.nu/107n
  Replies (25) Good night (2052) Bad night (4691)
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  (773): View more from Illinois

  the kid throwing up and laying face down on the deck just asked ME if I'M okay...

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  (773): the kid throwing up and laying face down on the deck just asked ME if I'M okay... http://tfl.nu/071o
  Replies (6) Good night (2234) Bad night (992)
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  (916): View more from California

  That one dude should feel honored if he were to get herpes from you. Fuck that Guy. He is a herpe.

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  (916): That one dude should feel honored if he were to get herpes from you. Fuck that Guy. He is a herpe. http://tfl.nu/yz4h
  Replies (4) Good night (598) Bad night (1527)
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  (906): View more from Michigan

  I bet George Washington got SERIOUS head back in his hay day.

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  (906): I bet George Washington got SERIOUS head back in his hay day. http://tfl.nu/pyr7
  Replies (9) Good night (1570) Bad night (542)
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  (701): View more from North Dakota

  Well am going to a strip club before sun down, I dont think anything good can come from that.

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  (701): Well am going to a strip club before sun down, I dont think anything good can come from that. http://tfl.nu/ctxr
  Replies (7) Good night (668) Bad night (471)
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  (262): View more from Wisconsin

  I was peeing in the bathroom at this house party when a guy just casually stumbles out of the shower

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  (262): I was peeing in the bathroom at this house party when a guy just casually stumbles out of the shower http://tfl.nu/cieg
  Replies (7) Good night (1007) Bad night (433)
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  (772): View more from Florida

  I think now I understand why people say my penis is pretty.

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  (772): I think now I understand why people say my penis is pretty. http://tfl.nu/zh78
  Replies (3) Good night (959) Bad night (411)
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  (330): View more from Ohio

  lets do drugs on my lunch break tomorrow

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  (330): lets do drugs on my lunch break tomorrow http://tfl.nu/f70c
  Replies (0) Good night (538) Bad night (379)

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