The funny thing about my wife cheating on me is that the guy probably has genital warts now. Sweet.
I have a deodorant stick dedicated to my balls.
Almost accidentally stole a baby... explain later
my brother is about to go smoke a joint outside... he's preparing his munchies on the counter beforehand. I admire his responsibility.
100% of annual heatstroke fatalities are preventable deaths! Don't let it happen to you! Also, you can catch crabs from almost anything! Be safe and have fun.
Tell him I thought his Superman stand on your bed and cum all over your back was quite funny
Hey. Be honored that I consider you the genital expert. I know alot of candidates for the position.
We are not in a rock band. We can't continue living like this.
Security has videotape of her blowing the boss against his car. Don't they know he entire parking lot is under video surveillance?
My roommates call me "Queen of the Skanks" I guess that means I've had a successful first month of college.
They think its so cute and admirable that I learned French. BITCH HAVE YOU NEVER HEARD OF GOOGLE TRANSLATE? sexting foreign bitches, there's an app for that
NO MAKING MOLDS OF ANYONES GENITALS
Fine. Suck all the fun out of life.
He just got home after serving 5 years in prison. And I think I may courtesy fuck him. Best Christmas present ever.
i solemnly vow to never stick my penis into crazy again
I give it a week.
I felt the need to set off fireworks in the living room while they were having sex upstairs. Yes, they quieted down.
Randomize
