Here's my recipe for happiness. Go get a pen. 1. smoke a bowl 2. put on explosions in the sky 3. take a bath. Do this for about 1 hour or until all your problems go away.
i've lived in the woods for so long, as long as its post-op, i don't care.
The plants looked thirsty. Growing plants need mimosas too.
I wish I could sell my textbooks directly to my drug dealer and cut out the middle man
did i get hit in the head with a hammer? someone just asked me...
Just gave a urinal high five to a complete stranger. Might not be such a bad night after all
You and Eric are like slutty bowling balls, and that poor family are the pins. They won't know what hit em.
strike, motherfucker.
I'm ready to take a few years of my life this weekend
You get home okay?
I'm pantless and in bed
That doesn't mean you're at home.
Banana suit guy has an entourage and they're all douchebags. There is no god.
When did it become normal to wake up in the middle of the night to take a group bathroom break and have a 10 minute discussion on where the next football game is?
Where the hell did you pick this girl up? She just licked my cat and stole our last poptart.
Congratulations! We have a period
on a campus of 30,000 people, i should not be able to see every single guy I've ever hooked up with at one party.
I need a rain check on breakfast. A frat boy said it was his dream to sleep with a MILF, I made his dream come true and he made me cum
There is no way I’m wasting 21 year old morning wood
Randomize
