a smallpox vaccine scar is like a lower back tattoo.
Her birthday cake consisted of a shot of tequila with a candle in it
I called her new haircut "lesbian progressive" and now she's upset
slut bingo starts in ten minutes ...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Is there a law against that?
Nope not at all. Just morals. But fuck it, this is college, not real life.
I only feel half bad for cheating on him because while we were fucking I was given great relationship advice and now I'm ready to work some things out.
I literally told her "she's a sandwich I'd like to make" and that's all it took
The only thing stopping me from having sex with you in my parents jacuzzi bathtub is the knowledge that they've already had that idea themselves
Last night I was just holding this kitten up to my face for like ten minutes telling it that it couldn't be real
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Then he texted me that I was the "good kind" of fat.
Driving home this morning in my minion costume makes me rethink the 0 tint on my windows.
He was leaving the restaurant I was going to as I was parking. I didn't want to scream, "hey, didn't I jerk you off?" Out of my window at 10 am
pls come tAke this super bath no romo it's just. so nice.
Did you smoke and go to the aquarium again?
I think someone shaved off all their pubes in the handicap stall or a werewolf stopped by the office to take a crAzy dump!
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