Found my sandals in your freezer this morning, THANKS
we went back to her place to bone only to find her boyfriend having sex.. with MY girlfriend
The only reason I kept his number in my phone for so long is so that hed pay for my abortion.
dude your girlfriend loves you alot..she yelled your name lastnight in bed
i just licked mashed potatoes off my blackberry. i'm not even ashamed to admit that to you.
i'm going through the NYU 2014 group looking for future drunken hookups. too slutty?
And now we have yet another reason to never travel to Detroit
She is a fish and this place is a barrel. I can play this game.
I'm relatively certain my chiropractor just judged me for admitting that my back is misaligned from the sex we had last night...
Also since my birthday I've on average fucked a new guy every 12.5 days. I'm doing an excel spreadsheet
I'm cuddling with a baby pig and drinking champagne right now.
Please tell me you're not playing strip poker with your cousins again
He was making a joke about signing my name on this piece of paper. He has a whole bucket filled with names on pieces of paper. I think thats how he keeps count.
Yea I went out in footie pajamas and still got laid. Good night for u?
I cannot, in good conscience, let you talk to a guy who wears Chaps and a knit beanie
Randomize
