I was scared of Debbie's boobs today. They were all huge and scary looking
is it sad that pink shorts and cowboy hats remind me of getting jizz in the hair?
I'm sorry but all I really read was "my nipples will get hard."
Haha he acted like he's never seen a tampon catapolt across the hall before
Any questions about why there was a scuba tank chilling in the hot tub this morning?
Two things. 1 - I want to apologize for my drunkeness last night. 2 - I want to pre-apologize for my anticipated drunkeness tonight.
He wasn't eating out, he was performing a hysterectomy without a license....should I be worried about my future family?
Facebook stalking ex-girlfriends who went to rehab. This is my life.
The fact that there are multiple ex-girlfriends who have been to rehab concerns me
Man...I want to get monumentally fucked tonight.
Soooo fucked this chick last night! While fucking she started talking into the fan on the side of my bed. Does that count as sex with a robot
Had a dream that you were held at gun point. But I killed the guy. Then we embraced in the biggest hug while everyone around us clapped... Kinda how I imagine our wedding...
grandma made pot brownies .. oh god bless us everyone
Long fucking story. But hey I got an orgasm and breakfast so I'm winning.
I've finally done it. I finally achieved my lifelong goal of becoming that awkward lesbian in high school who went on to have sex with more women than any of her male classmates.
In this house, we have but one simple rule: DONT FUCKIN TOUCH MY STUFF OR I'LL CUT YOUR NECK IN UR SLEEP
Randomize
