My ass is singing 4 different tunes right about now... Taco Bell was a bad idea!
My morning has consisted of lying in a fetal position, eating a whole tub of ben and jerry's, talking to my cat, and setting all of our pictures on fire. Does that answer your question?
I am currently in the waffle making stage of highness
He literally just walked in some random persons house and walked right to they're pantry. Then five minutes later he walks out with pop-tarts, mac and cheese, and captain morgan. We need to chill with this kid more often.
Changed it back. Somehow I didn't think my profile pic should be me shirtless on ecstasy, ya know?
Why isn't there a sort by hair color option on Facebook? It would make stalking much easier.
I'm never waking up next to someone after sex again. It's alllll downhill from there.
Sitting here reading the internet and all i have to show for this summer is a shitty tan and the possible case of clamidia.
There something liberating about walking through the dorm hallways without pants on.
He sent me a picture of Reese's peanut butter cups next to his dick. Of course I went over.
You kept ripping all your clothes off and saying, "Let me be free!"
Sorry, that was mean and I didn't mean it. I'm just mad at condoms
I'm concerned I may die tonight. All I've been told about my bday shenanigans is to bring slutty clothes, a bikini, tylenol, sunglasses and pjs. Tell me what the fuck is going on...now
bring lube too
i hate all of you
I'm drinking because I just started here and every single person I work with wants to quit and when I asked a coworker how she's doing she literally just started crying.
You know he wants it bad when he starts going door to door for condoms.
Randomize
