So me and friend just finished Eiffel towering this girl and sounds great in theory but after the high five has commenced its just a weird threesome especially when you make eye contact with your buddy during the session
Everyone was high fiveing on their a walks of shame home. God im gonna miss college life
the table of underagers at this wedding were seated 10ft from the open bar. currently 30 open containers on the table for 5 people. dinner hasn't even been served yet.
The fact that its 530pm and I'm saying to myself I should sober up since I'm at a family establishment should say enough
You walked in on me taking a shit and told me to hit the bong
The number of injuries I get impersonating Shakira while drunk is getting ridiculous. Sprained vagina, dude.
If you really wanted to hide the fact you were gay, you could have at least had the sense to not get drunk in the same bar as your bf.
They should really start adding the average cost of day drinking to our cost analysis sheets. Does FAFSA cover this? No. It doesn't.
I'm drunk in your building find me and we can have sex.
You came home And decided to make beer battered bacon... That's why there was smoke
I had a dream he was standing in front of me naked and flexing while yelling VICTORY and gizzing all over the floor.
Was it you I was with where I saw a guy open a beer with his butt?
She took me into the bathroom and force fed me a panini, it was pretty good.
WHEN THE HELL DOES ANYTHING IN OUR LIVES *EVER* GO AS PLANNED???
Planning a vacation around my dog. I have become one of those dog moms.
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