Jon just got arrested by the quesadilla police
What?!?
What I actually meant, is I had a quesadilla, and Jon got arrested by the real police
i've lived in the woods for so long, as long as its post-op, i don't care.
1 stripper is 160/hr. 2 strippers is 280/hr. it would be fiscaly irresponsible to only get one.
You know its going to be a good homecoming when you beer bong a mimosa at 6am.
i blame lastnights decisions on friday the 13th
Note: fake nails and fingering anus.... Not a good idea
The best was having to tell my 16y/o cuz and her bf that we could see him fingering her in the inner tube. Lucky for them, I'm the cool cousin... and was river-level fuckedup.
used foursquare to find where i am. please come get me. this is the scariest bedroom ever.
Saying we were separated at birth, got on a ship and sailed here via onion barrel from Somalia didn't help our case at all....
there may or may not be knives in your bed. I would check
the repo guy said it was the first time he'd ever started to repo a car with someone fucking inside of it. he might have said 'doing it' instead.
I think the paper my teacher just handed back to me had one of his pubes on it, I'm way too hungover for this
Will you skip merrily into hell with me?
I find celibacy oppressive. Huge waste of my time and talents.
thanks for not wanting to stay all night or talk or anything, nice to have a fuck buddy who really doesnt take the buddy part serious
I'm all about the fuck
Randomize
