Avril Lavigne as a judge on Idol wearing devil ears. it's like every boner you ever had in 2002 just came true.
Just saw a picture of your new tub, cant wait to pee in it
I miss being able to drink at 11am just cause it was sunny outside.
i just missed the spain goal because i was puking in the bathroom. damn you open bar.
My costume is made up of 4 inch heels and a firefighter costume I'm borrowing from the dramatic play area of my Pre-K classroom. I told you I could still be slutty on a teacher's salary.
She said, "I don't really go out much, but my husband recently cheated on me" and I don't remember anything after that.
In a car. Threw up in my mouth. Haven't said a word in 10 minutes.
Someone is in my phone as "fireball girl" and keeps texting me. How do I go about finding out who it is?
His grandpa picked him up. Brought him to the house. And made him clean the puke off the driveway with a broom and a bucket of water.
I look like a bag of dicks so if you could ugly yourself up that'd be great.
it's not like I want to die, I just want life to stop for a little bit. how does that work?
Wanna get mid day margaritas tomorrow if I'm still alive
Why the fuck was I face down on the floor with you mounting me like a horse anyway? I'm so confused
I'm so sad at the lack of dick in my life I am going to get sauced and make rice krispy treats
90% sure the total babe I have been talking to all night has a kid. Ugh, so sad right now.
Im so high
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