do you know how scary it is to wake up in a CATSCAN machine after a night of drinking?
I woke up hungover and opened my laptop to find that i had googled alcoholism again
everyone knows he gets back in a week and after that i'm not sleeping around anymore. it's like i have a expiration date.
Protip: If you slur the word 'tipsy', you've progressed beyond tipsy.
She told me she's going to buy a projector so she can watch porn on her ceiling...I'm telling you man this chick is going places
and if my full six pack comes in by Halloween there is no stopping the man slut costume. I have no shame
I need to quit being a slut. It's to the point that I got my period today and automatically I Believe I Can Fly popped into my head.
I just got high off one hit and the. Spent 20 minutes inspecting the gasket of our refridgerator and researching ways to replace it
Yeah the last text says "How many your ass,,,,, prepare it" so take that for what it is
You answered, dry heaved into the phone twice, & then hung up on me.
look for me at the Giants game I will possibly be the drunk girl passed out by 2nd
Have you ever eaten pizza and gotten your dick sucked at the same time? Because I have pizza.
when I walked in the door they were passed out naked, on top of eachother, with tetris controllers in their hands.
I just woke up and I don't really remember anything past 1pm. How much am I missing?
A good 10-11 hours. You got laid twice. Also, you out-ran a cop and played football with a lamp.
He literally shouted this Viking war cry when he cam. Then as we laid there he sang me the most beautiful rendition of " When Irish Eyes are Smiling". I've never been more confused.
Randomize
