so when am I gonna get some from you?
when you dick grows 3 inches
I'm on a mission to free the leash kids. Like liberating the Israelites from Egypt. Only better.
I sold my books for weed money!
Finals don't start for a week...
who the fuck is that kid sitting with you...
I don't have any fucking idea. I woke up and he was there. I'm kinda creeped out.
As a side note, my abs are sore. Most likely cause? Orgasms. Thank you.
Fuck at this point id do just about anything for 20 bucks
That has been your downfall in past encounters with 20 dollars bills
I just remembered you had me meet your law professor while I was wasted...how'd that go?
We're both on the slippery slope toward middle age...and really shame riddled bar experiences
Well I don't think you can suck his dick while he's making pizza. I think that goes against some health codes.
Eight drinks in. Subject is fondling chips before eating them. Intoxicated texting has expanded from best friend to random guy I met in FBLA.
I can't help but look at my sex life and acknowledge that this is not normal behavior.
I have meat and whiskey. will you bring condoms?
Drunk you decided to patrol campus as the Arrow and tell random bystanders "YOU HAVE FAILED THIS CAMPUS." Campus P.D. did not join your crusade.
That explains the nerd bow & arrow...
I can hear the pillow talk now, "how many condoms did you bring? Good, put them all on,"
I think you're overestimating how drunk I was
You said your pillow felt like the ocean...
Randomize
