this other lifeguard and I are actually considering paying a kid to shit in the pool
Her facebook status is 'PERCS ON DECKKK~' which is probably why she still lives with her parents.
sometimes when i'm drunk i choose the spanish option on the ATM to challenge myself.
Don't you dare blame me for walking in one walking in on ur fuck session....u decided to fuck where we hid our booze
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I think I met somebody from your birthday this past weekend. He said I held a push up contest outside the bar and told them I would make out with the winner. He said he won..
Uhm after 8 I don't recall anything. All I know is there's a picture of me playing pong with my grandmother.
Yesterday you said I was the best.
No. I said you DID your best. There's a huge difference.
You kept ranting how Captain Planet is getting shortchanged in the superhero department. Other than that you kept it together
Happy "I'm glad our dad made us sisters and then summarily downgraded himself to sperm donor" day.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
On a scale of 0 to Thanksgiving, there is no amount of food that fights against tequila.
I just woke up butt-naked in bed with a guy I've never seen..I reached into my bag next to the bed to get my phone and found a bag of shrooms, a handle of vodka, and 600 dollars that I've never seen. what do I do
enjoy it.
And you hate the library
Yea but I love drugs and my grades
WHY CANT I FIND JUST A NORMAL DISNEY LOVING MAN TO PAINT WITH ALL THE COLORS OF THE WIND WITH!!
Why did you have to tell me he has a hammer cock? Now I can’t stop staring at his pants.
You know, I'm starting to enjoy brazilians. One day I'm going to make a therapist very very happy.
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