And people are going to start dressing like that in public, it's just ridiculous, the goths and now the GAGAs
Just tried to fight the dj at cowboys because he would'nt play freebird. Pick me up now.
I don't remember which guy I met at the bar is coming to pick me up. It will be like my birthday surprise.
We must be getting old. All of our friends are having kids and they aren't illegitimate.
He tried to slow-dance with me in bed. IN BED.
I just don't understand how a line to ride a camel on a college campus could be too long for you to wait in.
I have bruises all over from falling so much last night, I even have bruises on my arms from them picking me up off the street.. Oh vodka nights.
I hear sloppy seconds go great with fried rice
She told me that for every Ravens touchdown, I'd get to come once.
Marry her. Marry her now. I'll help you steal the ring.
Terrible hangover + phoenix airport + pizza hut....I think I might have entered one of the levels of hell.
They've already turned me into the Dean of Students once because they felt 'unsafe' because I came home hammered and asked one of them to make me a grilled cheese sandwich. Like, I just ASKED!
You do realize he's just an extension of his penis, right?
She slapped a big dramatic bandage on my arm and people started buying me drinks...I plan on wearing a full body cast tomorrow night.
If wanting to text you my feelings after three mojitos is wrong I don't wanna be right.
If hypothetically I needed to puke on the bus... how would I go about doing this.
Randomize
